newyorknative | And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

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wade wilson : beaarthur

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

The morning is largely the same. Well, sort of. It sounds the same. Same old New York traffic, the bustle of the city outside Wade's window. The room, however - it's very different. The walls are painted a light blue, covered in photos - mostly of Wade, actually, although there are some flowers, or pictures of the city. Interspersed are items clearly of Wade's influence - a ratty Star Wars poster, newspaper clippings of the funniest headlines - and so on.

Peter stretched, humming quietly as he opened his eyes. A moment to fumble for his glasses - on a real night stand, no less, because there's a real bed in the room, too - and he smiled at the man sleeping next to him. This Peter was far more relaxed than Wade's probably ever had the privilege to see. He's also not wearing a shirt, or pants, down to just his boxers and apparently alright with it.

"Rise and shine, lazy," Peter poked Wade's side before flopping obnoxiously on his chest and peppering his face with kisses. "Come on, get up, you promised you'd help me today - "

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Peter's voice snapped him out of his self flagellation. Poor oblivious Peter. Here Wade was, losing it in the bathroom over something that was probably normal for alternate universe him. When it came to his Peter back home, he had danced around the word in his head so many times but never letting it solidify. That was when he knew there was no turning back. It was harder to run from that inevitable pull.

Peter was his gravity. He was a magnet that pulled him in no matter how hard he tried to push away. And the worst part was that he highly doubted that Peter knew just how deep Wade was in. Thanks to all of the bullshit jokes. How many times had he taken jobs specifically to put space between them? Tokyo? Alright! Baghdad? Sure! Anything just to keep him from doing something stupid again. From getting too close. But Wade just kept on inching closer and closer.

Taking jobs was the only way to numb himself. Well, there were other ways. But those were never permanent thanks to his stupid healing.

So there it all was, laid out in front of him. He said it and now he couldn't go back to pretending that he cared less than he did. There was no more fooling himself. He broke his own rule, even if it was in a different universe.

His chest seemed to constrict even more at that thought. "Peter, I can't." The words came out jumbled and he realized just how broken he sounded. Like he was pleading. It just made it worse.

His Peter was a tougher egg to crack. His Peter - it would take a lot, back home, to get Wade's Peter to the level of happiness this Peter was currently enjoying. This Peter wasn't a superhero; just a relatively normal kid with abnormal bad luck.

So the Peter back home - no, maybe he didn't take Wade as seriously as he should. Not only did he joke around, constantly coming out of nowhere to smack his ass, but Peter didn't make a habit of getting close to, well, anyone.

"Yes, you can, Wade." Peter implored gently, resting one hand on the door, fingers spread over the wood as though he could console Wade through the barrier. "We can do it together. Come on, breathe with me, babe. I'm right here."

"M'not going anywhere." Peter closed his eyes, taking a deep breath himself. It was always rough, talking Wade down like this. There was reason Wade had been at that support group, Peter knew that. "Never going anywhere, Wade."

Alternate Universe Peter's kind words made it both better and worse. Better because it actually made him start to calm down and worse because he realized that he would never get that in his world. The bottom line was that he wasn't good enough for his Peter's love. He had big enough shoulders. Hell, he'd already been through some pretty horrific things and come out fine in the end.

Because Peter was so good for him. He was an amazing influence on him and made him a better person. But Wade doubted his ability to do the same. Helping Peter open up was something that he didn't think he could do. So if that meant that his Peter would fall in love with someone else and that he could be happy, then Wade would proudly bear the burden of an eternity without Peter's love. He would wear that suffering like a badge. Because his person was okay. And if Peter was okay, then Wade would find a way to be okay in the end too. Or at least a way to accept the way things panned out.

That was what terrified him.

The blood stopped rushing to his head and he was finally starting to breathe like a normal person again. Wade wiped the tears off his cheeks and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, Petey. You can come in now." The shakes started. He hated that part. It always happened after that initial burst of adrenaline.

And how would he know, if he never seriously tried? Not that anything with Wade was ever serious, and maybe that was the problem. Whatever the case, Peter falling love and settling down with someone? Highly unlikely. He still wasn't over Gwen - never over Gwen he'd never - but the idea of putting someone else in danger was nauseating to him.

Peter opened the door slowly, offering a watery smile when he saw Wade curled up by the toilet. He came in and crouched by Wade's side, resting a warm hand on his knee. "Hi there. Rough morning, huh?"

Peter rested his head against Wade's knee, just giving him a little bit of contact, for now. Best not to bombard him with the affection Peter wanted to give him; let him have his space and seek out more when he needed it. His thumb brushed over the knob of Wade's knee, light, reassuring. "S'gonna be okay, Wade. It's always okay when we're together, remember?"

But if Wade never seriously tried, then he never failed either. Maybe that was where the real hang up was. Sadly the one positive he had to bring toward a relationship with his Peter was the fact that Wade couldn't die.

His heart hurt. This universe's Wade was so fucking lucky. He laughed at Peter's words and leaned into the touch, needing it to ground him.

Warmth spread through him, centering at his knee. His hand stretched out and his fingers slid through Peter's hair. The knot in his stomach started to uncurl. "...Yeah." He was too tired to even think of an argument right then. Honestly, it was just the truth. Everything always felt better when he was near Peter, whatever universe he was in.

Honestly? That was a big fuckin' tick mark in Wade's column. More loss just - he wouldn't be able to survive it. It was bad enough that Wade could - and did, frequently - get injured, or worse (with Wade, it was always worse, wasn't it?).

Peter pressed his cheek against Wade's knee, sighing softly when his fingers tangled in Peter's mess he called hair. "How does breakfast in bed sound?" He didn't think they'd be getting to the dark room today, and Peter was entirely fine with that. "You and me, feeding each other grapes. Paradise."

"What do you say?" Peter tilted his head, pressing a kiss to Wade's knee before he looked up at him, eyes wide and honest. Hoping Wade would let Peter take care of him for a little while, even if it was just the little things.

Yup. It was always worse. Wade temporarily died more often than not because he didn't take very good care of himself. He ran into open fire, through acid pits, got limbs chopped off all the time. That was his life and it was because it was easier to just not care and go barreling through everything.

"Sounds really good." Wade managed to nod. "Mm." Normally the thought of feeding Peter sensuously would rev his engine, but he was just too exhausted. There was still that spark though. Stupid libido could survive anything. It was like Cher.

"Yeah." He could get lost in those gorgeous eyes. Before he realized it, he was leaning forward, his knee going down so he could reach Peter's face. The hand in Peter's hair continued to run through it, gently carding as his lips caught the other man's. It was hesitant, but gentle. A silent thank you for the kindness. Something he very rarely received.

Peter had, luckily, not been privy to that beyond Wade's stories. The second he witnessed something like that - well, let's just be glad he hadn't, yet. The streets had some pretty horrific stuff, but watching Wade continue talking after getting decapitated wasn't something he needed to have nightmares about.

Peter's fingers curled against Wade's thigh, thumb rubbing a gentle circle against his sweatpants. "You better not get any maple syrup on my bed, mister."

He kissed Wade back, his own hand moving to Wade's cheek, holding him close. When the kiss broke, Peter kept him there, pressing their foreheads together. "I love you, Wade. Don't you forget that, okay?" His other hand was on the back of Wade's neck, just keeping him close, for a moment.

"I won't. Promise. Not this time at least." Wade grinned. Aaaaand he was back.

I love you, Wade. The words echoed in his head a few times. Wasn't that exactly what he had always wanted to hear from Peter? But all he could picture was his Peter and all the times he had actually started to feel like maybe they could be close. Even if it was only friendship. Wade could handle that because he wouldn't be alone anymore. His eyes closed and his body relaxed. It felt so good to be close to Peter and just revel in that bit of contact. Was this who Peter could have been? Still a lovable smart ass, but also kind and loving and unencumbered by loss? It made him grieve for what Peter could have had. Life was cruel.

He closed his eyes and brushed his nose against Peter's ever so gently. Trying to physically show how much he appreciated the contact, but unable to voice it.

"I'm warning you, Wilson," Peter shook his head, hiding a smile against Wade's leg.

They all had what ifs in their lives; this was just one of many for Peter and Wade. And yeah, perhaps Wade could fit himself into this universe, take it as his own, if he wanted to - but it wasn't really his, was it? And Peter wasn't really like this. He could have been, but...he wasn't.

Peter smiled and kissed the corner of Wade's mouth, hand smoothing gently down Wade's neck. A brief, quiet reprieve together; that, he could give him, no problem. "Come on, babe, bed. Cuddling makes everything better, right?" It didn't make his exam stress better, but his Wade always insisted it did.

No, it wasn't Wade's world at all and he knew that. As much as he loved the thought of a world where he and Peter could live happily ever after, it didn't feel right here. Honestly, he just wanted to go home. As much as he could have spent the rest of his life here with alternate universe Peter feeling loved and cherished for once in his life, it wasn't who his heart really longed for. Maybe something in him needed to see what could have been. Wasn't this world proof enough for Wade that they could make each other happy in the end? If he was being honest, no. But that's because Wade was a bitter person anymore and he no longer let hope swallow him up. It was less painful that way when everything fell apart again.

"It's the truth, Petey." Cuddling definitely made everything better. Wade pushed himself up, his head feeling foggy for a moment. As soon as he got his equilibrium, he was heading toward the bedroom.

Wade practically melted into the bed. It was just so comfortable.

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but who's really to say that Peter and Wade weren't meant to be in other universes, too? If they could make each other smile even a fraction of how often they were smiling now - wouldn't that be worth it?

Everything was always going to fall apart. They were superheroes.

"Uh huh." Peter smiled knowingly and for the first time, he was the one swatting Wade's ass. "Go on, I'll be there in a minute."

Peter made for the kitchen, finishing their breakfast and bringing in two steaming plates; waffles, bacon, and cut up apples. A big glass of OJ for the both of them, too; he would have made coffee, but Peter knew Wade didn't need the caffeine when he was already shaking.

It would be worth everything.

Wade snuggled into the bed as he waited for Peter, his mind blank for the first time in a long time. Usually it was going a mile a minute, bombarding him with images and thoughts that overlapped until everything was a jumble. Apparently that panic attack reset his crazy. Not that he was complaining.

Just as he was starting to fall asleep, Peter entered the bedroom and oh dear god everything smelled amazing. He sat up quick, his stomach growling in anticipation. Apparently he was starving and he didn't even realize it. "Oh wow, Pete. That looks amazing."

"Dozing off without me?" Peter laughed and passed Wade his plate as he sat up, sliding onto the bed cross-legged with his own plate. He leaned over to peck Wade's cheek, quirking a brow at him. "I told you I was the king of breakfast food."

"Eat up," Peter ripped a chunk out of his waffle, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. He needed new ones - didn't he always? - but hadn't gotten around to getting frames that actually fit him.

"A little bit, yeah." Wade smiled and took the offered plate. Said smile widened even more at the kiss. "You won't hear an argument from me about that, Petey Pie."

Wade dug into his food and he most definitely wasn't disappointed. He basically inhaled the bacon first and then alternated between the apples and the waffle. "Oh, Baby Boy..."

"Knew you were lying about needing me to sleep," Peter teased, nudging Wade's side. "All that whining, for naught."

"The cook doesn't accept compliments, only kisses." He dipped another piece of his waffle into his syrup, long fingers picking apart the fluffy breakfast.

Oh yeah. Wade could see himself whining about not being able to sleep without Peter nearby. Maybe he was just a little bit needy.

"Oh really? Well, in that case..." He leaned over darting the tip of his tongue out to catch a stray drop of syrup from off of Peter's chin before planting a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Mmm, liquid gold! Thank you, Petey Pie."

Incredibly needy, and a manipulative little shit in order to get what he wanted. Which happened to be Peter, away from studying, that particular night. Not that Peter minded, but that was the key, wasn't it? Not letting Wade know he didn't mind.

"Acceptable," Peter smiled against Wade's mouth, picking up a slice of apple. "Anything for you, babe."

Yes and yes. It wasn't something he was proud of. But he could definitely be a manipulative ass. Mostly when it came to getting Spidey's attention. So the him of this world doing the same thing was unsurprising.

God, he was so sweet he was getting a toothache from this shit! The more he ate, the better he started to feel. He wasn't getting to be manic or anything, but he was definitely not as depressive anymore. Soon enough his plate was cleared and he set it on the side table closest to him. Wade leaned back on the bed, his hands on his stomach as he sighed. So full.

Aw, it wasn't that bad. Peter knew, so. He also knew when he would or wouldn't give in.

Peter methodically cleared his own plate, using his waffle to soak up every drop of syrup. He uncoiled when he was finished, setting his plate atop Wade's and flopping back down on his stomach next to Wade. He pushed his glasses up, resting his cheek against the pillow and just staring at Wade, soft smile on his lips. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Wade grinned at Peter's question. "That's very Beaches of you, love muffin." Yup. Definitely getting back to normal now.

He sighed, honestly weighing his options. It wasn't smart for him to talk about what was actually happening, so there was no way. As much as he loved breaking the fourth wall, now was not the time. Part of actually wanted to just blurt out what was going on for once. He wanted more than anything to have someone to just know what he was going through. How could he bring up that he didn't even want to admit that he was in love with a version of Peter from another universe because he knew he would never be good enough for someone as pure and good as Peter Parker. "I don't know if I could even get the words out of my mouth. It's just a bad brain day."

"You're lucky I fell in love with you before I found out about the weird Bette Midler obsession." Not quite as acute as some of his other ones; Peter just found it amusing, mostly.

"I sorry baby," Peter reached out, stroking his hand gently over Wade's cheek. His Wade did that, occasionally, but in this world, it was diagnosed as one of several disorders. Wade's medication was in the bathroom, neatly stacked in order next to Peter's Zoloft and Xanax.

There had only been one time Peter couldn't talk him down. They didn't talk about it.

"Is there anything else that might help?" Peter raised an eyebrow, thumb brushing over Wade's brow.

"You liked watching Hocus Pocus with me!" Shit. Wrong Peter. Good going, dipshit. Hopefully this Wade still had the same obsession with watching Hocus Pocus a billion times as soon as it was October first.

Wade knew leaned into the touch, his eyes closing in comfort. It was like Peter instinctively knew what to do to soothe him. Every touch was like a balm to his soul. He moved closer so that their sides were touching.

"Just want to be close to you right now." It was the painfully honest truth.

"Of course I like Hocus Pocus, I grew up with Hocus Pocus! The fact that you like Hocus Pocus is worrying." Oh, they've certainly had this discussion time and again. "You're a total dork, Wade Wilson."

"Your wish is my command," Peter murmured, slinging his arm around Wade's waist comfortingly, drawing him in close. "Lazy afternoon in bed it is."

"Well, I don't see how that's such a bad thing, Peter." Wade just naturally felt the need to bicker with him. It was impossible to stop himself from talking. As per usual.

Wade's entire body went warm at the feeling of Peter holding him. It was so incredibly comforting. Wade turned onto his side so he could face him. Legs entangled with Peter's as he snugged his body flush against the other man's. This was exactly what he needed. "Sounds perfect."

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i don't have a kiss icon YET. Will tomorrow & will edit. sorry :[

Don't even worry about it ;3

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