newyorknative | And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

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wade wilson : beaarthur

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

The morning is largely the same. Well, sort of. It sounds the same. Same old New York traffic, the bustle of the city outside Wade's window. The room, however - it's very different. The walls are painted a light blue, covered in photos - mostly of Wade, actually, although there are some flowers, or pictures of the city. Interspersed are items clearly of Wade's influence - a ratty Star Wars poster, newspaper clippings of the funniest headlines - and so on.

Peter stretched, humming quietly as he opened his eyes. A moment to fumble for his glasses - on a real night stand, no less, because there's a real bed in the room, too - and he smiled at the man sleeping next to him. This Peter was far more relaxed than Wade's probably ever had the privilege to see. He's also not wearing a shirt, or pants, down to just his boxers and apparently alright with it.

"Rise and shine, lazy," Peter poked Wade's side before flopping obnoxiously on his chest and peppering his face with kisses. "Come on, get up, you promised you'd help me today - "

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Peter had, luckily, not been privy to that beyond Wade's stories. The second he witnessed something like that - well, let's just be glad he hadn't, yet. The streets had some pretty horrific stuff, but watching Wade continue talking after getting decapitated wasn't something he needed to have nightmares about.

Peter's fingers curled against Wade's thigh, thumb rubbing a gentle circle against his sweatpants. "You better not get any maple syrup on my bed, mister."

He kissed Wade back, his own hand moving to Wade's cheek, holding him close. When the kiss broke, Peter kept him there, pressing their foreheads together. "I love you, Wade. Don't you forget that, okay?" His other hand was on the back of Wade's neck, just keeping him close, for a moment.

"I won't. Promise. Not this time at least." Wade grinned. Aaaaand he was back.

I love you, Wade. The words echoed in his head a few times. Wasn't that exactly what he had always wanted to hear from Peter? But all he could picture was his Peter and all the times he had actually started to feel like maybe they could be close. Even if it was only friendship. Wade could handle that because he wouldn't be alone anymore. His eyes closed and his body relaxed. It felt so good to be close to Peter and just revel in that bit of contact. Was this who Peter could have been? Still a lovable smart ass, but also kind and loving and unencumbered by loss? It made him grieve for what Peter could have had. Life was cruel.

He closed his eyes and brushed his nose against Peter's ever so gently. Trying to physically show how much he appreciated the contact, but unable to voice it.

"I'm warning you, Wilson," Peter shook his head, hiding a smile against Wade's leg.

They all had what ifs in their lives; this was just one of many for Peter and Wade. And yeah, perhaps Wade could fit himself into this universe, take it as his own, if he wanted to - but it wasn't really his, was it? And Peter wasn't really like this. He could have been, but...he wasn't.

Peter smiled and kissed the corner of Wade's mouth, hand smoothing gently down Wade's neck. A brief, quiet reprieve together; that, he could give him, no problem. "Come on, babe, bed. Cuddling makes everything better, right?" It didn't make his exam stress better, but his Wade always insisted it did.

No, it wasn't Wade's world at all and he knew that. As much as he loved the thought of a world where he and Peter could live happily ever after, it didn't feel right here. Honestly, he just wanted to go home. As much as he could have spent the rest of his life here with alternate universe Peter feeling loved and cherished for once in his life, it wasn't who his heart really longed for. Maybe something in him needed to see what could have been. Wasn't this world proof enough for Wade that they could make each other happy in the end? If he was being honest, no. But that's because Wade was a bitter person anymore and he no longer let hope swallow him up. It was less painful that way when everything fell apart again.

"It's the truth, Petey." Cuddling definitely made everything better. Wade pushed himself up, his head feeling foggy for a moment. As soon as he got his equilibrium, he was heading toward the bedroom.

Wade practically melted into the bed. It was just so comfortable.

Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but who's really to say that Peter and Wade weren't meant to be in other universes, too? If they could make each other smile even a fraction of how often they were smiling now - wouldn't that be worth it?

Everything was always going to fall apart. They were superheroes.

"Uh huh." Peter smiled knowingly and for the first time, he was the one swatting Wade's ass. "Go on, I'll be there in a minute."

Peter made for the kitchen, finishing their breakfast and bringing in two steaming plates; waffles, bacon, and cut up apples. A big glass of OJ for the both of them, too; he would have made coffee, but Peter knew Wade didn't need the caffeine when he was already shaking.

It would be worth everything.

Wade snuggled into the bed as he waited for Peter, his mind blank for the first time in a long time. Usually it was going a mile a minute, bombarding him with images and thoughts that overlapped until everything was a jumble. Apparently that panic attack reset his crazy. Not that he was complaining.

Just as he was starting to fall asleep, Peter entered the bedroom and oh dear god everything smelled amazing. He sat up quick, his stomach growling in anticipation. Apparently he was starving and he didn't even realize it. "Oh wow, Pete. That looks amazing."

"Dozing off without me?" Peter laughed and passed Wade his plate as he sat up, sliding onto the bed cross-legged with his own plate. He leaned over to peck Wade's cheek, quirking a brow at him. "I told you I was the king of breakfast food."

"Eat up," Peter ripped a chunk out of his waffle, glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose. He needed new ones - didn't he always? - but hadn't gotten around to getting frames that actually fit him.

"A little bit, yeah." Wade smiled and took the offered plate. Said smile widened even more at the kiss. "You won't hear an argument from me about that, Petey Pie."

Wade dug into his food and he most definitely wasn't disappointed. He basically inhaled the bacon first and then alternated between the apples and the waffle. "Oh, Baby Boy..."

"Knew you were lying about needing me to sleep," Peter teased, nudging Wade's side. "All that whining, for naught."

"The cook doesn't accept compliments, only kisses." He dipped another piece of his waffle into his syrup, long fingers picking apart the fluffy breakfast.

Oh yeah. Wade could see himself whining about not being able to sleep without Peter nearby. Maybe he was just a little bit needy.

"Oh really? Well, in that case..." He leaned over darting the tip of his tongue out to catch a stray drop of syrup from off of Peter's chin before planting a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth. "Mmm, liquid gold! Thank you, Petey Pie."

Incredibly needy, and a manipulative little shit in order to get what he wanted. Which happened to be Peter, away from studying, that particular night. Not that Peter minded, but that was the key, wasn't it? Not letting Wade know he didn't mind.

"Acceptable," Peter smiled against Wade's mouth, picking up a slice of apple. "Anything for you, babe."

Yes and yes. It wasn't something he was proud of. But he could definitely be a manipulative ass. Mostly when it came to getting Spidey's attention. So the him of this world doing the same thing was unsurprising.

God, he was so sweet he was getting a toothache from this shit! The more he ate, the better he started to feel. He wasn't getting to be manic or anything, but he was definitely not as depressive anymore. Soon enough his plate was cleared and he set it on the side table closest to him. Wade leaned back on the bed, his hands on his stomach as he sighed. So full.

Aw, it wasn't that bad. Peter knew, so. He also knew when he would or wouldn't give in.

Peter methodically cleared his own plate, using his waffle to soak up every drop of syrup. He uncoiled when he was finished, setting his plate atop Wade's and flopping back down on his stomach next to Wade. He pushed his glasses up, resting his cheek against the pillow and just staring at Wade, soft smile on his lips. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Wade grinned at Peter's question. "That's very Beaches of you, love muffin." Yup. Definitely getting back to normal now.

He sighed, honestly weighing his options. It wasn't smart for him to talk about what was actually happening, so there was no way. As much as he loved breaking the fourth wall, now was not the time. Part of actually wanted to just blurt out what was going on for once. He wanted more than anything to have someone to just know what he was going through. How could he bring up that he didn't even want to admit that he was in love with a version of Peter from another universe because he knew he would never be good enough for someone as pure and good as Peter Parker. "I don't know if I could even get the words out of my mouth. It's just a bad brain day."

"You're lucky I fell in love with you before I found out about the weird Bette Midler obsession." Not quite as acute as some of his other ones; Peter just found it amusing, mostly.

"I sorry baby," Peter reached out, stroking his hand gently over Wade's cheek. His Wade did that, occasionally, but in this world, it was diagnosed as one of several disorders. Wade's medication was in the bathroom, neatly stacked in order next to Peter's Zoloft and Xanax.

There had only been one time Peter couldn't talk him down. They didn't talk about it.

"Is there anything else that might help?" Peter raised an eyebrow, thumb brushing over Wade's brow.

"You liked watching Hocus Pocus with me!" Shit. Wrong Peter. Good going, dipshit. Hopefully this Wade still had the same obsession with watching Hocus Pocus a billion times as soon as it was October first.

Wade knew leaned into the touch, his eyes closing in comfort. It was like Peter instinctively knew what to do to soothe him. Every touch was like a balm to his soul. He moved closer so that their sides were touching.

"Just want to be close to you right now." It was the painfully honest truth.

"Of course I like Hocus Pocus, I grew up with Hocus Pocus! The fact that you like Hocus Pocus is worrying." Oh, they've certainly had this discussion time and again. "You're a total dork, Wade Wilson."

"Your wish is my command," Peter murmured, slinging his arm around Wade's waist comfortingly, drawing him in close. "Lazy afternoon in bed it is."

"Well, I don't see how that's such a bad thing, Peter." Wade just naturally felt the need to bicker with him. It was impossible to stop himself from talking. As per usual.

Wade's entire body went warm at the feeling of Peter holding him. It was so incredibly comforting. Wade turned onto his side so he could face him. Legs entangled with Peter's as he snugged his body flush against the other man's. This was exactly what he needed. "Sounds perfect."

"It's not," Peter laughed, kissing Wade's cheek. "I adore you. Freak in the sheets, dork on the streets."

Peter's other hand lifted, stroking gently over Wade's head, pressing into a few areas that might do for a light massage. His fingers trailed over the grooves of Wade's scars as though he'd memorized them, and perhaps this Peter had.

Wade was totally keeping that as his tagline now.

It was so easy for him to close his eyes and lean into Peter's touch. Wade didn't realize just how much he had been craving affection until he started to get it again. His hands slipped underneath the back of Peter's shirt, fingers splayed across the warm skin and everything was right in the world for a small time. "Can I keep you?" He laughed. It sounded hollow to his own ears.

"Mm, babe, I'm yours," Peter promised gently, palm resting on Wade's cheek. His thumb swept under Wade's eye, and Peter's expression turned into a quiet, contemplative frown. "..Are you okay, Wade? Was it...I mean, was it really bad?"

He knew he didn't want to talk about, but Wade just sounded so...melancholy. Which wasn't unusual, after a panic attack like that but something was...just a little different. Peter was probably imagining things.

Wade leaned forward, unable to handle the frown on Peter's face. He kissed the corner of his mouth before going in again for a direct hit. So yeah, maybe he was trying to distract Peter from the question for a moment. The tip of his tongue grazed Peter's bottom lip and he kissed him again before his teeth gently nipped. He pulled away and sighed heavily. There was no getting out of this. No amount of distracting kisses was going to stop this from happening.

"If... Well. Here, think about this. What if in some other galaxy far, far away there was another version of you. And this version of you had been through some pretty horrific things. There was a lot of loss in his life and he held a lot of guilt in his heart to where he was not like you here. Multiple people he loved died and he felt it was his fault. So it was hard for him to be happy and open and carefree. That version of you kept his cards held pretty close to himself." Wade paused so he could kiss Peter's forehead, his lips barely grazing.

"And what if I was there too. Same as ever. Loud and obnoxious. But also not an open book and with self loathing by the bucket full. Still scarred. Still..." Disgusting. The word wouldn't come out. "Do you think... that there could be an infinitesimally small chance that you could..." Fuck. He couldn't even get the words out. It was killing him.

"...Do you think that maybe that version of you could... love me some day?" Wade said it with his eyes closed. He didn't want to see Peter's reaction. His inner dialogue was ripping him apart. Fucking waste of space. HAH. Yeah right. Like anyone could ever love you. You're funny. And yeah, Wade fucking knew that. He knew what he was. And that was why he didn't get his hopes up. "Peter, this is stupid. I don't even know what I'm talking about. Let's just go to sleep." He made a move like he was going to turn away.

Edited 2016-06-18 13:30 (UTC)

Distraction successful. Peter hummed softly, fingers curling against Wade's neck as he kissed him back. There was no rush, just gentle, easy kisses that left Peter a little breathless, honestly. Wade always kissed him like he was something so, so precious and Peter could only hope he made Wade feel the same.

"Sounds like a pretty harsh world," Peter murmured quietly, tilting his head up enough to look Wade in the face. Still, was that all Wade was worried about? Perhaps the dream was more intense than Wade was letting on. Whatever the case, Peter reached out, cupping Wade's face in his hands. "Hey."

"Hey," Peter stopped him gently, tilting Wade's face back towards him. "I think there isn't a single version of me, anywhere out there in the ether, that wasn't meant to love you. I make you better, and I know you might not think so, but you do the same for me."

"And this - closed off version of Peter Parker?" Peter dipped his head, kissing Wade lightly. "Maybe it would take a little longer. Maybe he wouldn't want to put anyone in danger, if he thought he was the root cause. I know after Gwen died - "

He took a deep breath, fingers stroking down the side of Wade's neck idly. "You know how I felt. Imagine if I'd blamed myself for that? Would have taken me twice as long to move on, don't you think? But I did, and look where we are now."

"Does that answer your question?"

Wade hadn't even been in this universe for 24 hours and he felt more cherished and loved in that small amount of time than he had his entire life. So Peter definitely made Wade feel the same.

He stopped trying to push away, letting Peter force eye contact and his heart clenched at those words. It was too much for him to handle. While he could adamantly agree that Peter made him a better person, he didn't know about him doing the same. What did Wade really have to offer? A bruised and battered heart and a lifetime of mental illness? Peter got the short end of the stick on that one, that was for sure.

All the physical contact and soft touches eased his anxiety. His eyes closed as he breathed deeply, taking in everything Peter said. Deep down, Wade knew that if he genuinely wanted to be with his Peter, that he would most likely have to let his guard down first. Which was next to impossible because of the amount of rejection Wade had been through. He would have to be brave enough to put himself out there over and over again, even if his Peter wasn't having any of it. But for the first time in a long time, he felt strong enough to do it. Peter was worth it. Even if things didn't turn out. That was what he wanted. Desperately. But there was that part of him that thought he needed to leave so that Peter wouldn't have to deal with his bullshit. So what was the right choice? What should he choose?

Was there someone that cared about Peter more than him? Wade could say with confidence that there was no way. Wade would give everything he had to keep Peter safe and happy.

"Yeah. I guess that nightmare got to me more than I realized." He tried to laugh it off. Too bad that nightmare was his real life.

"You've got to trust me, Wade," Peter murmured, when the silence stretched tellingly. This Peter had been with Wade long enough to know when something was on his mind. "If you don't trust me, who is there babe? It's you and me against the world."

Wade was everything. Wade was goofy smiles and relentlessly bad jokes when Peter was in a foul mood, until he couldn't help but crack a grin. Wade was soft touches and the first hug Peter had from someone other than May, after Gwen, that meant something. Wade was life, with the boundless excitement Peter thought he'd lost a long time ago.

He'd probably have to do it seriously, because lord knows Peter was dense as a brick when it came to flirting, and the real Peter - well, Wade's Peter - could be a little closed off and moody. So buying him a case of lube wasn't going to get much by way of a positive response.

"Do I have to remind you just how much I love you?" Peter quirked an eyebrow, giving Wade a teasing peck.

Don't even worry about it ;3

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