newyorknative | And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

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wade wilson : beaarthur

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife

The morning is largely the same. Well, sort of. It sounds the same. Same old New York traffic, the bustle of the city outside Wade's window. The room, however - it's very different. The walls are painted a light blue, covered in photos - mostly of Wade, actually, although there are some flowers, or pictures of the city. Interspersed are items clearly of Wade's influence - a ratty Star Wars poster, newspaper clippings of the funniest headlines - and so on.

Peter stretched, humming quietly as he opened his eyes. A moment to fumble for his glasses - on a real night stand, no less, because there's a real bed in the room, too - and he smiled at the man sleeping next to him. This Peter was far more relaxed than Wade's probably ever had the privilege to see. He's also not wearing a shirt, or pants, down to just his boxers and apparently alright with it.

"Rise and shine, lazy," Peter poked Wade's side before flopping obnoxiously on his chest and peppering his face with kisses. "Come on, get up, you promised you'd help me today - "

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Yes and yes. It wasn't something he was proud of. But he could definitely be a manipulative ass. Mostly when it came to getting Spidey's attention. So the him of this world doing the same thing was unsurprising.

God, he was so sweet he was getting a toothache from this shit! The more he ate, the better he started to feel. He wasn't getting to be manic or anything, but he was definitely not as depressive anymore. Soon enough his plate was cleared and he set it on the side table closest to him. Wade leaned back on the bed, his hands on his stomach as he sighed. So full.

Aw, it wasn't that bad. Peter knew, so. He also knew when he would or wouldn't give in.

Peter methodically cleared his own plate, using his waffle to soak up every drop of syrup. He uncoiled when he was finished, setting his plate atop Wade's and flopping back down on his stomach next to Wade. He pushed his glasses up, resting his cheek against the pillow and just staring at Wade, soft smile on his lips. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Wade grinned at Peter's question. "That's very Beaches of you, love muffin." Yup. Definitely getting back to normal now.

He sighed, honestly weighing his options. It wasn't smart for him to talk about what was actually happening, so there was no way. As much as he loved breaking the fourth wall, now was not the time. Part of actually wanted to just blurt out what was going on for once. He wanted more than anything to have someone to just know what he was going through. How could he bring up that he didn't even want to admit that he was in love with a version of Peter from another universe because he knew he would never be good enough for someone as pure and good as Peter Parker. "I don't know if I could even get the words out of my mouth. It's just a bad brain day."

"You're lucky I fell in love with you before I found out about the weird Bette Midler obsession." Not quite as acute as some of his other ones; Peter just found it amusing, mostly.

"I sorry baby," Peter reached out, stroking his hand gently over Wade's cheek. His Wade did that, occasionally, but in this world, it was diagnosed as one of several disorders. Wade's medication was in the bathroom, neatly stacked in order next to Peter's Zoloft and Xanax.

There had only been one time Peter couldn't talk him down. They didn't talk about it.

"Is there anything else that might help?" Peter raised an eyebrow, thumb brushing over Wade's brow.

"You liked watching Hocus Pocus with me!" Shit. Wrong Peter. Good going, dipshit. Hopefully this Wade still had the same obsession with watching Hocus Pocus a billion times as soon as it was October first.

Wade knew leaned into the touch, his eyes closing in comfort. It was like Peter instinctively knew what to do to soothe him. Every touch was like a balm to his soul. He moved closer so that their sides were touching.

"Just want to be close to you right now." It was the painfully honest truth.

"Of course I like Hocus Pocus, I grew up with Hocus Pocus! The fact that you like Hocus Pocus is worrying." Oh, they've certainly had this discussion time and again. "You're a total dork, Wade Wilson."

"Your wish is my command," Peter murmured, slinging his arm around Wade's waist comfortingly, drawing him in close. "Lazy afternoon in bed it is."

"Well, I don't see how that's such a bad thing, Peter." Wade just naturally felt the need to bicker with him. It was impossible to stop himself from talking. As per usual.

Wade's entire body went warm at the feeling of Peter holding him. It was so incredibly comforting. Wade turned onto his side so he could face him. Legs entangled with Peter's as he snugged his body flush against the other man's. This was exactly what he needed. "Sounds perfect."

"It's not," Peter laughed, kissing Wade's cheek. "I adore you. Freak in the sheets, dork on the streets."

Peter's other hand lifted, stroking gently over Wade's head, pressing into a few areas that might do for a light massage. His fingers trailed over the grooves of Wade's scars as though he'd memorized them, and perhaps this Peter had.

Wade was totally keeping that as his tagline now.

It was so easy for him to close his eyes and lean into Peter's touch. Wade didn't realize just how much he had been craving affection until he started to get it again. His hands slipped underneath the back of Peter's shirt, fingers splayed across the warm skin and everything was right in the world for a small time. "Can I keep you?" He laughed. It sounded hollow to his own ears.

"Mm, babe, I'm yours," Peter promised gently, palm resting on Wade's cheek. His thumb swept under Wade's eye, and Peter's expression turned into a quiet, contemplative frown. "..Are you okay, Wade? Was it...I mean, was it really bad?"

He knew he didn't want to talk about, but Wade just sounded so...melancholy. Which wasn't unusual, after a panic attack like that but something was...just a little different. Peter was probably imagining things.

Wade leaned forward, unable to handle the frown on Peter's face. He kissed the corner of his mouth before going in again for a direct hit. So yeah, maybe he was trying to distract Peter from the question for a moment. The tip of his tongue grazed Peter's bottom lip and he kissed him again before his teeth gently nipped. He pulled away and sighed heavily. There was no getting out of this. No amount of distracting kisses was going to stop this from happening.

"If... Well. Here, think about this. What if in some other galaxy far, far away there was another version of you. And this version of you had been through some pretty horrific things. There was a lot of loss in his life and he held a lot of guilt in his heart to where he was not like you here. Multiple people he loved died and he felt it was his fault. So it was hard for him to be happy and open and carefree. That version of you kept his cards held pretty close to himself." Wade paused so he could kiss Peter's forehead, his lips barely grazing.

"And what if I was there too. Same as ever. Loud and obnoxious. But also not an open book and with self loathing by the bucket full. Still scarred. Still..." Disgusting. The word wouldn't come out. "Do you think... that there could be an infinitesimally small chance that you could..." Fuck. He couldn't even get the words out. It was killing him.

"...Do you think that maybe that version of you could... love me some day?" Wade said it with his eyes closed. He didn't want to see Peter's reaction. His inner dialogue was ripping him apart. Fucking waste of space. HAH. Yeah right. Like anyone could ever love you. You're funny. And yeah, Wade fucking knew that. He knew what he was. And that was why he didn't get his hopes up. "Peter, this is stupid. I don't even know what I'm talking about. Let's just go to sleep." He made a move like he was going to turn away.

Edited 2016-06-18 13:30 (UTC)

Distraction successful. Peter hummed softly, fingers curling against Wade's neck as he kissed him back. There was no rush, just gentle, easy kisses that left Peter a little breathless, honestly. Wade always kissed him like he was something so, so precious and Peter could only hope he made Wade feel the same.

"Sounds like a pretty harsh world," Peter murmured quietly, tilting his head up enough to look Wade in the face. Still, was that all Wade was worried about? Perhaps the dream was more intense than Wade was letting on. Whatever the case, Peter reached out, cupping Wade's face in his hands. "Hey."

"Hey," Peter stopped him gently, tilting Wade's face back towards him. "I think there isn't a single version of me, anywhere out there in the ether, that wasn't meant to love you. I make you better, and I know you might not think so, but you do the same for me."

"And this - closed off version of Peter Parker?" Peter dipped his head, kissing Wade lightly. "Maybe it would take a little longer. Maybe he wouldn't want to put anyone in danger, if he thought he was the root cause. I know after Gwen died - "

He took a deep breath, fingers stroking down the side of Wade's neck idly. "You know how I felt. Imagine if I'd blamed myself for that? Would have taken me twice as long to move on, don't you think? But I did, and look where we are now."

"Does that answer your question?"

Wade hadn't even been in this universe for 24 hours and he felt more cherished and loved in that small amount of time than he had his entire life. So Peter definitely made Wade feel the same.

He stopped trying to push away, letting Peter force eye contact and his heart clenched at those words. It was too much for him to handle. While he could adamantly agree that Peter made him a better person, he didn't know about him doing the same. What did Wade really have to offer? A bruised and battered heart and a lifetime of mental illness? Peter got the short end of the stick on that one, that was for sure.

All the physical contact and soft touches eased his anxiety. His eyes closed as he breathed deeply, taking in everything Peter said. Deep down, Wade knew that if he genuinely wanted to be with his Peter, that he would most likely have to let his guard down first. Which was next to impossible because of the amount of rejection Wade had been through. He would have to be brave enough to put himself out there over and over again, even if his Peter wasn't having any of it. But for the first time in a long time, he felt strong enough to do it. Peter was worth it. Even if things didn't turn out. That was what he wanted. Desperately. But there was that part of him that thought he needed to leave so that Peter wouldn't have to deal with his bullshit. So what was the right choice? What should he choose?

Was there someone that cared about Peter more than him? Wade could say with confidence that there was no way. Wade would give everything he had to keep Peter safe and happy.

"Yeah. I guess that nightmare got to me more than I realized." He tried to laugh it off. Too bad that nightmare was his real life.

"You've got to trust me, Wade," Peter murmured, when the silence stretched tellingly. This Peter had been with Wade long enough to know when something was on his mind. "If you don't trust me, who is there babe? It's you and me against the world."

Wade was everything. Wade was goofy smiles and relentlessly bad jokes when Peter was in a foul mood, until he couldn't help but crack a grin. Wade was soft touches and the first hug Peter had from someone other than May, after Gwen, that meant something. Wade was life, with the boundless excitement Peter thought he'd lost a long time ago.

He'd probably have to do it seriously, because lord knows Peter was dense as a brick when it came to flirting, and the real Peter - well, Wade's Peter - could be a little closed off and moody. So buying him a case of lube wasn't going to get much by way of a positive response.

"Do I have to remind you just how much I love you?" Peter quirked an eyebrow, giving Wade a teasing peck.

This Peter was definitely intuitive. Wade tried to force a smile. "You're the only person I do trust." It was true.

Wade knew he would have to stop using his jokes to shield himself. It was the only way Peter would actually get the hint. He didn't know if he could look the other man in the eye and talk about his feelings or anything. But there were other ways to show how you were feeling without needing to talk. So he was going to stick with that.

Heat crept down Wade's spine. His thoughts immediately went to somewhere not family friendly. "Don't tempt me, baby boy." His voice was a low rumble. Wade leaned forward to capture Peter's lips, his pelvis pressed flush against the other man's. God. All Peter had to do was breathe on him and he was half hard.

He pulled away in a hurry. Peter was literally within arm's reach, but he knew he needed to distance himself. Too bad Wade's self control was in the freaking negatives! "I know that I'm a blockhead, but there's no doubt in my mind how you feel. I'm just trapped in my head right now."

This Peter, at least, made it pretty obvious Peter Parker wasn't as straight as some might assume. Peter was kind of hard to read that way in the first place, but like his Aunt always said, love is love is love. And you don't take it for granted, wherever you might find it.

"Why not?" Peter grinned against Wade's mouth, not at all shy about pressing up against who he thought was his boyfriend, hands finding Wade's hips. "You got somewhere better to be, Wilson?"

He was a little bewildered when Wade pulled away just as fast as he'd curled closer, blinking at him in confusion. "...is there something you're not telling me?" Mixed signal central, over here.

Never. There was nowhere else better to be. He just didn't belong here. That was the problem.

"I'm a spy. I work for the CIA. I'm sorry, Peter." Deflection. So much deflection. "I have six toes. My mother was a lion. The illuminati is real. ...I'm pregnant."

This was not his Peter, no matter how adorkable and perfect he was. And how did that saying go? Though shalt not pound another Wade's Peter into the mattress they sleep on.

"Can I be the little spoon?" Wade rolled over so his back was to Peter, pushing back against him. Maybe if he fell asleep he'd wake back up in a place where he wasn't being tortured every moment by what he could have had. He sighed. "...thanks for hearing me out."

"Wade - " He cut off that thread of conversation by rolling over, and Peter wasn't entirely sure it was something he should push. So he didn't, instead wrapping his arms around Wade and snuggling in close, pressing his cheek to Wade's shoulder, thumb rubbing a lazy circle into his abdoman.

That's a really weird saying for your book over proverbs, man.

"Anytime, baby." Peter murmured softly into Wade's ear, tilting his head up to kiss the sensitive skin of his neck. "You know that. Anytime you need me, Wade. You're it, for me."

With Peter pressed against his back, he could almost pretend that this was the life that he got. Wade hoped that this version of himself appreciated what he had. Because this Peter was pretty damn close to perfect.

A shiver zipped up his spine at the whisper and the feel of Peter's lips on his neck. "I know. How'd I get so lucky, huh?" Honestly. He wanted to know how this Wade got so lucky. His heart clenched at the words and all he could think in his head was how much he wanted that in his world. How much he wanted Peter to be it for him. How much he wanted to be it for Peter. Only time could tell though. If he ever got back.

God, that was something he didn't think about. What if he couldn't go back? What then? What would happen to him? What about his Peter? Was the other Wade taking his place?

"Well I'll tell you one thing, I'm no scratch lotto prize," Peter teased gently, breath warm against Wade's neck. They'd only just woken up, probably less than two hours ago, but if Wade needed a nap - well, Peter was like a cat, able to curl up anywhere. Besides, he was full and warm from breakfast, and Wade was probably tired after that panic attack. Understandable.

Peter fell into a light doze, snoring quietly. His arm tightened around Wade, holding him snugly against his chest. Clearly, a position Peter had become comfortable with.

What would Wade's Peter even do, with a non-mutant Wade who insisted they were in love?

Peter was better than anything he could've gotten from a scratch off ticket.

Wade definitely needed a nap. A universe altering nap that sent him through time and space back to where he belonged. Because he sure as hell didn't belong here as much as he wanted to. He pretty much passed out thanks to how comfortable and safe he felt. Usually Wade was a super light sleeper, but the warmth and comfort of Peter's presence made him sleep like the dead. So while Peter was snoring quietly, Wade was snoring like a freaking rototiller, drooling on the pillow.

Murder him? Throw him out a window? Wade was already handsy when they weren't in a relationship, so...

Unfortunately, this wasn't the nap Wade was hoping for. Nothing...happened. Peter was still normal, sweet Peter, wrapped around Wade's backside. Their legs were tangled together and Peter's free hand was resting, warm and heavy on Wade's thigh. He was kind of adorable, asleep, face slack, glasses - which he'd forgotten to take off - askew. The bed head game was real.

Probably be worried that Wade had become even more unhinged than usual, and wonder if he'd be getting a katana in the face.

Everything felt so warm and comfortable and then suddenly Wade's own snoring made him shoot awake. "Oh shit." he muttered, rubbing sleep from his eyes and trying to get a handle on what was going on. He looked down and saw Peter next to him, looking cute as hell and making his heart squeeze up -- then he remembered. "Shit." It didn't fucking work! How the hell was he supposed to get back? Wade held his head in his hands, eyes squeezed shut tightly as he tried to get his breathing under control. The last thing he needed was to be set off again.

What could he do right now? Nothing that he could think of. So instead, he laid back down, pulling Peter close to him to try to ground himself so he could think clearly.

Fuck. What if he could never get back? What if he couldn't get back until some random time when he least expected it. How the hell was he going to keep up this facade?

Peter mumbled quietly under his breath, tucking in closer to Wade when he pulled him in against him. His snores are soft against Wade's shoulder, cheek smushed against his skin. It didn't take him long to wake like this, with a wide yawn, deep brown eyes slowly blinking open, up at Wade. He definitely isn't confused or annoyed by waking up to this, the way his regular universe counterpart might be.

"...Mm, hey Wade," Peter hummed, soft smile curling on his lips. "Feelin' better?"

Wade's negative thoughts stop when he feels Peter stirring. His eyes meet Peter's sleepy ones and everything he was worried about just melts away. It was crazy how that seemed to be normal for the time he's been here.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you up, sleeping beauty?" Wade grinned and leaned down to brush his lips against Peter's ever so softly. Just that tiny bit of contact filled him with warmth. "Yeah, baby boy. I think I'm okay now." Lie. But the last thing he wanted was for this Peter to realize that. Wade pressed closer, his hand reaching for the mess on top of Peter's head, fingers gently and carefully working out the tangles. It was next to impossible to keep his hands to himself. One of the only times he felt centered was when he was touching Peter.

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