Peter passed out, after the pole through the chest. They insisted on keeping him an extra two days, to make sure it was really over, but Peter - he knew. Not even Spiderman came back from something like that.
When he was finally released, cleared to go home, Gwen brought him two things - a bouquet of flowers and a bracelet. He'd stared at her, uncomprehending, but she just took his hand and made him carry her up to the top of the Queens bridge.
They scattered the flowers. Gwen took Peter's arm, clasped the bracelet over his wrist - blocking out Wade's name, which hadn't faded from his skin yet, and probably wouldn't for some time - and Peter cried, unable to hold himself up any longer.
Life moved on, whether Peter wanted it to or not. The world kept turning, and Peter kept breathing, even when his other half did not. Spiderman returned, perhaps a bit too early, at the tail-end of June. This time, it was less of a patrol and more of a hunt for trouble. He did it too much, became careless with himself - there was no one who had to feel his pain, anymore. Sometimes, in a way, Peter felt like the pain made him closer to Wade, rest his soul. It had been the only thing they'd ever had, so as fucked up as it was...Peter wasn't exactly wrong.
Sometimes, he thought he felt phantom pain, from Wade. But that was probably just wishful thinking.
Norman Osborn died. Harry asked for his help and Peter - he can't, he can't do it, for fear of making Harry's suffering worse. Another person he can't save, and it's infuriating, that everyone in his life has this cloud over their heads.
But then there's the clocktower. Gwen's falling. Peter can catch her. He always caught her.
Gwen's head hit the floor with a resounding crack, and Peter is undone once again.
This pain - this is agony. This is worse, at least for Peter, than feeling Wade's pain for three months. It's the loss that breaks the camels' back - his parents, Uncle Ben, his freaking soulmate - but Gwen? The best friend he didn't deserve, who was the closest thing to a soulmate Peter was ever going to have - she was gone, it was his fault and he just...
His chest ached, about to split open, and he just clutched her body, sobbing. For everyone he'd lost - what would he even have left, when the smoke cleared? Harry - Harry was gone too, replaced by the psychosis of the serum. Another name to add to the list.
Surely this is how he'd die. Surely God wouldn't make him live with such emotional pain.
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When he was finally released, cleared to go home, Gwen brought him two things - a bouquet of flowers and a bracelet. He'd stared at her, uncomprehending, but she just took his hand and made him carry her up to the top of the Queens bridge.
They scattered the flowers. Gwen took Peter's arm, clasped the bracelet over his wrist - blocking out Wade's name, which hadn't faded from his skin yet, and probably wouldn't for some time - and Peter cried, unable to hold himself up any longer.
Life moved on, whether Peter wanted it to or not. The world kept turning, and Peter kept breathing, even when his other half did not. Spiderman returned, perhaps a bit too early, at the tail-end of June. This time, it was less of a patrol and more of a hunt for trouble. He did it too much, became careless with himself - there was no one who had to feel his pain, anymore. Sometimes, in a way, Peter felt like the pain made him closer to Wade, rest his soul. It had been the only thing they'd ever had, so as fucked up as it was...Peter wasn't exactly wrong.
Sometimes, he thought he felt phantom pain, from Wade. But that was probably just wishful thinking.
Norman Osborn died. Harry asked for his help and Peter - he can't, he can't do it, for fear of making Harry's suffering worse. Another person he can't save, and it's infuriating, that everyone in his life has this cloud over their heads.
But then there's the clocktower. Gwen's falling. Peter can catch her. He always caught her.
Gwen's head hit the floor with a resounding crack, and Peter is undone once again.
This pain - this is agony. This is worse, at least for Peter, than feeling Wade's pain for three months. It's the loss that breaks the camels' back - his parents, Uncle Ben, his freaking soulmate - but Gwen? The best friend he didn't deserve, who was the closest thing to a soulmate Peter was ever going to have - she was gone, it was his fault and he just...
His chest ached, about to split open, and he just clutched her body, sobbing. For everyone he'd lost - what would he even have left, when the smoke cleared? Harry - Harry was gone too, replaced by the psychosis of the serum. Another name to add to the list.
Surely this is how he'd die. Surely God wouldn't make him live with such emotional pain.