newyorknative | Yes I want you, and that’s the way it is

Entry tags:

fiyero tigelaar : winkieprince

Yes I want you, and that’s the way it is

[ aka wicked ii: lost in new york ]

Peter... might have a few. Buried in there somewhere - like the thigh fucking. That was pretty alright, wasn't it? And he definitely has a few long dormant fantasies that have been re-awoken by that gag they bought. Curiously, none of the formless masturbation material has ever involved him in the gag... not that he'd be opposed. But those kinds of fantasies never really crossed his mind; he tried being the submissive one in encounters he wasn't emotionally invested in, and it really did not work for him. None of it worked for him, but especially that: vulnerability. With Fiyero... it's different. He trusts Fiyero, and trust is not an easy thing to come by... least of all like this, knowing he can be fully himself, without reservation.

Peter shifts, accommodating the wordless request and adjusting so Fiyero can roll over and they can tangle together, easy and comfortable. One of Peter's hands folds beneath Fiyero's arm, warm against his shoulder; the other reaches up, brushing Fiyero's hair out of his eyes, from where it's floofed on the pillow.

"I don't know. I've never - lost control." Peter admits, again almost apologetic. Like he should have, maybe, in preparation; what's a nerd's worst nightmare, aside from a test they haven't studied for? But of course, it makes sense that he's never lost control. The closest he's ever come was ripping that pillow the other day. This is... new territory for them both. "Probably being teased. I don't know what the upper limit is on orgasms..."

No one's ever tried to get him to come as much as Fiyero has, including himself. It mostly happens incidentally - or it did. He wets his lips, biting the lower one and ducking his head, bangs flopping over his eyes as his gaze drops to the sinuous lines of Fiyero's clavicle. It's not the talking about sex that's doing it, exactly - but if Fiyero keeps calling him by that affectionate nickname, it's definitely doing something.

"Tugging my hair." Ah, finally something actionable! He's mumbling it into Fiyero's chest like it's a confession, but at least he's being honest. "Everything is... you know, dialed to 11."

"I like kissing." His lips drag up Fiyero's neck to his jaw, nuzzling there, just breathing him in. Like he said, his senses are heightened. What's going to drive him wild? Everything. "I like tasting you..."

Based on their activities so far, Fiyero would say Peter makes a very good submissive. Sometimes not as intensely, where it's more like Fiyero is taking the lead or giving some challenge to Peter. But then when Peter was on his knees, getting his mouth fucked? He seemed very into that. Using the gag on Peter has definitely occurred to Fiyero, and he might - but unlike the webbing, the gag would be more of a reminder than a restriction. Not something he can fully lose control with. But then, Fiyero definitely has no intention of having anything in Peter's mouth while making him lose control.

Or trying to, at any rate. He's very aware that needs to be approached gently, cautiously. He'll work up to it, and try to play off Peter's reactions. And he knows that he wants to make sure Peter feels appreciated and wanted and loved. That any admonishment would be very gentle, if he gets Peter into any sort of vulnerable headspace again...

Fiyero's definitely taking mental notes, even as he's tracing gentle patterns across Peter's back, giving Peter encouraging little nods to show he's listening. Letting Peter think it through in his own time. The admission of 'tugging my hair' earns Peter a pleased noise, one of Fiyero's hands coming up to run through Peter's fluffy hair. Yes, they both like that, but it's nice to hear Peter point it out.

Fiyero hums in happy acknowledgement, cupping the back of Peter's head as he nuzzles into his neck, letting him hide there. No big surprises, just nice specifications. Having Peter actually say things he specifically likes is a win it itself, right.

"Well, I like everything you've said so far," Fiyero answers, his voice warm with a smile, playing with the hair at Peter's neck. "And, it does feel different, when you're tied up.. Makes everything stronger," he shares, giving a bit of quiet honesty so that Peter isn't the only one having to be a bit vulnerable as they talk.

"I mean.. When I had you on your knees. You weren't physically tied up, but you still seemed.. Like you lost yourself in it a bit. Did you like that?" he asks, voice earnest and almost a little shy. It occurs to him that it had both hair pulling and getting to taste Fiyero quite strongly. And it was Peter being controlled. He didn't lose control exactly, but he relinquished it to Fiyero's will. He still had to keep his control, but he didn't have the responsibility of choosing what to do with it...

There is a difference Peter can't quite articulate, where the line between being dominant or submissive and being confident blurs. Peter doesn't know where he falls, in the dominant/submissive spectrum - though he supposes if it's up to Fiyero, they're going to find out, together. But as he said, he's never truly been able to test it; at least, not without worrying about a thousand other considerations. The confidence... well, that's pretty self-explanatory. Fiyero seems more at home in his own skin than Peter can ever remember being, and while Peter feels like he's been doing a decent job so far, this is a bigger step forward.

Still, Fiyero almost makes it feel easy. He just accepts Peter's answers with encouraging noises and gentle touches that make the tension coiling at the base of his spine ease. Fiyero's hands find their way into his hair and Peter smiles against his neck, something dopey and terribly gooey, if he's being honest. This is what he likes. The truth of the matter is that he'd let Fiyero do just about anything he wanted, provided Fiyero kept making him feel desired, cared for. Maybe that's not the healthiest outlook in the world, but when did Peter ever claim to be well-adjusted?

"Yeah?" Peter retreats enough from Fiyero's neck to peek at him, wide brown eyes peering up at him. He rests his cheek against Fiyero's shoulder, hand sliding down his back, keeping Fiyero held close. "It seemed... intense. Good intense, but, uh... 11's pretty strong. Guess we'll see what happens with 12."

"I... did." His gaze drops to the hollow of Fiyero's throat, the appealing line it makes down to his chest. Everything about him is attractive, and while logically Peter knows he knew that since the moment they met, he also knows what he feels for Fiyero now is making it ten times as strong. Heightened to 11, indeed. "It was hot, you were - hot. It's never been like that before. "

It certainly didn't hurt matters that it touched on a few of Peter's likes and no apparent dislikes. He doesn't mind being controlled - and he doesn't mind being challenged to control himself. It's when the control is a distraction from being in the moment, out of very real necessity, that it's not as fun. But perhaps the webs will fix that...

"I just, ah," Peter huffs a soft titter, tilting his head to press a light kiss to Fiyero's shoulder. "I wanted to make you happy? And I know that sounds like a cop-out, but it's true and I guess - when I failed, you know, at first - that got to me. But you told me how to fix it."

He heaves a sigh, closing his eyes briefly, his own hand curling to rest in Fiyero's hair, buried in blond locks. "And then I didn't have to worry about it. Just had to focus, and I guess I did... get lost in it, a little. It's really never been like that before with - anyone. Just you."

They honestly seem well matched in that they both seem to drift along the dominant and submissive scale. For Fiyero it seems to almost depend on mood. Perhaps it's tied to something deeper, need for control or need for freedom, but he's not sure he's fully aware of that in the moment. Ironically, Fiyero feels somewhat selfish when he wants to be submissive. Even when he's offering himself up to be used, it's not quite as much about making Peter happy as it is satisfying some need in himself.

Perhaps it makes a difference that he knows Peter doesn't truly want to simply use Fiyero for pleasure? Obviously he enjoys it, but in a way where he probably wouldn't if Fiyero wasn't invested in it. It's when Fiyero has been more dominant that he's felt focused on Peter's needs. Maybe that's how it should be? He wouldn't ever want to really exploit Peter, after all. But at the same time, it does give him a thrill, to have that power over Peter. Being able to give Peter something he wants or needs makes Fiyero feel good.

They're probably more alike than they even realise, in some ways. It makes it easier to figure things out together, especially when they can put themselves in each other's shoes so well too. It's also lucky for Peter that even if he'd do just about anything for Fiyero, Fiyero would never want that to be something Peter didn't enjoy. If Peter can't protect himself, at least Fiyero will do his best to. And that sort of consideration is probably part of why Peter feels so strongly and wants to give him so much in the first place.

Fiyero smiles when Peter admits his motivation was simply to make him happy. It's interesting, Fiyero hadn't really planned for making Peter fail, but it worked out. Maybe that was part of it, triggering that kind of emotion? While then being given a chance to be good. It's interesting, but it also seems kind of risky. Fiyero can't help but think of that vulnerable look when Peter hadn't understood why Fiyero laughed. How such a simple thing could affect him.

"I think it's pretty obvious that I haven't had anything like this with anyone," Fiyero answers sweetly. Peter being his first would give him very high expectations - and if he had any plans of having anyone as his second, that might matter, but it doesn't really. "I don't.. really know what I'm doing," he admits with a soft huff. "So it's important you tell me if there's something you want, or something you don't want. Even if you thought you wanted it and you changed your mind..."

They have the safewords and all that, but Fiyero thinks that's something they mostly save for when it's clear it's too much, not when something feels mildly iffy. So for something like tying Peter up, he definitely wants to make sure he gets to be able to talk - at least most of the time. Not springing anything new on him while his mouth is stuffed, at the very least.

At the end of the day, neither was truly right or wrong, so long as they were both enjoying themselves. Different things can be good at different times, satisfying their own inner needs, or paying more care to each other's. For as much as Peter is supposedly the experienced one here, maybe he could stand to take a page out of Fiyero's book and look inward, at what he likes. What makes him happy - without it being so intrinsically tied to making his partner happy.

And yet, it's also true that he's always been this way. He'd declared himself to Gwen, right before everything fell to pieces. You're my path. Right or wrong, they'd never know, but he meant it. Just like he means it now, with the devotion and loyalty he's offering Fiyero. Maybe the thrill Fiyero gets from exerting power over him isn't inherently bad either, the same way Peter's loyalty isn't - but protecting it, protecting him, that's part of the burden. Protecting him... even from himself, when the need arises.

Fiyero's already done more than anyone else has ever managed - just look at them now, curled around each other. Peter's as well-rested, well-fed, and emotionally stable as he's been in ages, and definitely more than he was when they first met.

"An honor I take gleefully," Peter teases softly; humor, wrapped in true feeling. It's not obvious, not until they have those little moments together - when Fiyero is trying something new, that wide-eyed, electric excitement. Getting to do this - to tie Peter up and have his way with him - it's not just about Peter experiencing something new, but Fiyero, getting to explore as well, and why would Peter ever deny him that?

"Of course, 'yero." Peter's eyes flutter open, and he props himself up enough to look at Fiyero seriously, fond smile gracing his lips. "Always. The same goes for you, even when you're the one in control. No one is ever forcing us to go through with something."

His hand looses from Fiyero's hair, fingertip tracing down his brow, the angle of his nose. Reverent, charmed, touching because he can. Peter's finger dips to Fiyero's lips, brushing against the bow of them, before he follows it with a light peck. "Might be easier to tell you what I don't like."

Peter hums quietly in thought, gaze tracking over the planes of Fiyero's face as his hand makes another pass, dragging his fingers along the cut of Fiyero's cheek. "I don't like cold, generally. It feels bad, and when sensory things are unpleasant, I can get overstimulated, which can be painful and trigger a sensory overload attack. Which isn't... just one thing, so you honestly don't need worry about that. It's more like if I'm overwhelmed on a couple of fronts? I'll warn you, but I doubt it gets that far."

"I don't like being hit," His voice softens a little at the admission, fingertips slipping along Fiyero's jaw. "Spanking is okay, if you want. Kind of hot, sometimes. But don't hit me. I get more than enough of that with my day job."

It's an attempt at a joke, but it does beg the question of when the hell someone hit him during sex. Peter tucks his hand under his chin, propping himself up on Fiyero's chest as he looks imploringly up at him. "And... don't be mean?"

Again, seems self-evident, especially after their previous experience. Peter wets his lips again, gaze flitting away, to the shadow of Fiyero's jaw. "You can tease me all you like but... just don't be mean? I don't like that. Even when it's just a game, I - "

He huffs, eyes sliding back up to Fiyero's. Honesty has been their best path forward so far, so. "We're having sex because we care about each other, and I don't really want to pretend otherwise."

Fiyero doesn't have any objections to Peter getting pleasure from making Fiyero happy. But Fiyero wants to do the same thing for Peter, and that does require him having at least some preference. Though, perhaps Fiyero really should try to play on the whole 'pleasing Fiyero' thing more. Give him some goals and praise for achieving them? He's done it a bit, but not very intentionally...

Peter does make him happy though, quite easily. Just the fact that they can have this conversation, softly reassuring each other of how much they respect and care for each other's well-being and happiness and comfort. Fiyero doesn't think he's every been shown this kind of consideration. It still feels foreign, and in a way he's reminding himself as much as he's reminding Peter. He can easily imagine himself pushing through something even if he feels uncomfortable. They're just lucky it hasn't really had a chance to happen yet.

Fiyero leans in to give Peter an appreciative peck on the cheek as Peter returns the sentiment, smiling happily as Peter traces his features with his fingertip. Maybe together they can both get better at not doing things they don't want to.

He doesn't really expect Peter to have a list of kinks and things he wants to try. But maybe they'll uncover more and more of them over time. What actually surprises Fiyero a little bit is that Peter does have a list of things he doesn't like, and that he's comfortable sharing it. It feels like an even deeper level of trust, and it makes Fiyero's heart swell in his chest as he listens. He keeps touching Peter's back encouraging, expression curious and open.

Fiyero's mentally making notes - no cold, that's easy enough. Not something Fiyero had thought to play with. Once again he decides to pack a sweater and a blanket for Peter if they go swinging.

Peter getting sensory overload is important though. Fiyero found himself chasing overstimulation a bit - at the very least as a fantasy, but in general too. Mostly physically - bright lights and loud music don't sound appealing. But intense and overwhelming pleasure and pain, to the point where he can't even think? It's what the post-orgasm stuff was about, really. Something he might want to explore some more, on the receiving end.

That doesn't mean he necessarily wants to dole it out. He does want to overwhelm Peter - make him lose control, as they've talked about. Fiyero did keep thinking about what it would be like to just keep dragging orgasms out of Peter. But this makes him second-guess that. At the very least, he'd want to make sure Peter was in on the plan and able to warn him. It does at least sound like it's mostly unpleasant sensations that are a problem, and Fiyero doesn't really want to focus on them either.

He certainly doesn't want to hit Peter, and his arm tightens a little around Peter's waist at the way his voice softens. Even spanking doesn't sound appealing beyond a playful slap on the butt. It occurs to Fiyero that while experiencing pain might he arousing to him - in the right context and amount - he's not really interested in causing pain. At least not unless Peter was really into it, which it certainly doesn't sound like.

Fiyero's expression is already one of soft sympathy and affection and concern, but it seems to intensify tenfold as Peter tells him not to be mean. Like his heart is breaking for Peter and he just wants to scoop him up and keep him safe, tucked against his chest. He's nodding in agreement as Peter finishes, that he never wants to pretend they don't care.

Before Fiyero can even get to responding, he reaches up to cup Peter's cheek and kiss him. Sweet and prolonged, quite chaste but still lingering. A reassurance, a promise, and a thank you, all in one. Thank you for sharing this with him.

"I promise," he whispers as he breaks the kiss, still hovering an inch away from Peter's face. He brushes his hand through Peter's hair a couple times, leans in for another quick peck, before letting his head fall back to the pillow - arm still looked protectively and perhaps possessively around Peter.

"You know.. when I asked you to be mean to me.." Fiyero says after a quiet moment, thinking back to his request when Peter had first tied him up. "I also didn't mean that you shouldn't care. I meant it more like.. not being too gentle, and not giving me what I wanted. Trying to see how much I could take, that sort of thing. I wouldn't want you to.." Fiyero sighs, looking around for examples. "I don't know, start insulting me or something? Or try to hurt my feelings? And I don't want to do anything like that to you either."

It seems important to specify. He hadn't really been in a headspace to explain in depth at that point. But Peter had taken the request in the perfect direction, with the context of Fiyero's other requests. Being teased and used and played with. Fiyero's pretty sure he would have to pretty explicitly request it for Peter to start being insulting or cruel, and Peter would probably feel weird about it - no matter how much he'd want to please Fiyero. Who knows, perhaps there is some sort of situation where Fiyero would want that - if he needed to work out something, or... well, who knows? But he doubts it's anything he'll want to explore in the near future. And he can't imagine ever wanting to do that to Peter. Certainly not when he looks at him with those imploring eyes and asks him so sweetly to never pretend not to care.

The fact that Fiyero even cares to have this conversation - as if Peter needed any more proof that Fiyero feels for him, genuinely, that this is all far from transactional - is heartwarming. Fiyero listens intently, takes his dislikes in with a thoughtful tilt of his head. Peter knows it might sound silly, like with the cold thing - but after being blindfolded and tormented with a surprise piece of ice once, to the point of overstimulated tears and a very much not enjoyable 'lay back and think of England' moment - well, there's always a reason for the rule, right?

Truth be told, Peter is a little nervous showing preference at all. He doesn't mind most things, is willing to try anything legal and sane at least once, probably. It is a deeper level of trust, leaning on confidence that Fiyero isn't going to turn away from him if he says something Fiyero doesn't like. That they can talk about this and respect each other - that Peter doesn't have to suck it up to get Fiyero to stay interested.

Frankly, though, he would. He's sucked it up before in exchange for a shade of joy that pales in comparison to the smiles Fiyero manages to pull out of him.

Peter accepts the kiss with a surprised noise at the back of his throat, fingers curling in Fiyero's hair briefly before they smooth against his chest. He's pleasantly pink and staring moon-eyed at Fiyero by the time he breaks the kiss to make his promise, settling there in Fiyero's embrace. Fiyero makes him feel wanted, always. Physically, emotionally, and Peter soaks it up like a sponge, hovering close for a moment. He scoots up to pillow his cheek on Fiyero's shoulder again, enjoying the feeling of Fiyero's fingers brushing lightly through his hair, the way those beautiful, emotive eyes of Fiyero's always seem to strike him right in the heart.

"I knew what you meant." Peter assures him, hand extending to loop figure eights on Fiyero's collarbone, dipping down towards his chest hair every few loops. "Just like when I was - you know, talking filth. You knew I didn't - that I don't - uh - just see you as a toy."

Peter's absolutely averting his eyes for that one; it's easier to spew crude nonsense in the moment than it is to discuss it seriously later. He shrugs helplessly, wrapping an arm around Fiyero's middle. "Some people like it. Being insulted, or offended. Hot enemies thing, I guess. That's not... really my speed."

Once again, too much of it in his day job. Not to mention the terrible reality of Harry's situation - someone he loves, turning on him, wishing him nothing but the worst; and going out of their way to inflict physical and emotional harm on him, in pursuit of the highest amount of damage? Yeah, Peter doesn't really need to add any more malevolence to his life, least of all his sex life. Intimacy of this nature also exposes true insecurities, and if Fiyero were to turn around and be cruel when Peter was in a moment of vulnerability - some things, super strength can't save you from, and it would most definitely crush him. Teasing him for coming too quickly is different than mocking him for it, for example.

If Fiyero asked him to be intentionally antagonistic... well, they can discuss these kinds of things, and it would definitely take a discussion. It's not something Peter would stumble into organically on his own; but he is willing to experiment, to try things, and if it doesn't work then it doesn't work (doms can safeword too). They can just do something else; he doesn't think Fiyero would be mad, and that's what makes Peter willing to entertain it in the first place.

"You know we can have normal sex, too." Peter teases gently, though his humor sobers a tad when he presses his lips to Fiyero's throat. "Not that I don't like this, I just mean... don't feel like we have to do something wild to have fun or keep it interesting, okay?"

"I'm just happy to be with you," Peter's voice softens even more on the last sentence, arm tightening around Fiyero's middle. He means it, because of course he does. They could dry hump fully clothed for a week straight, and it probably wouldn't even occur to Peter to complain.

It's a strange conversation that Fiyero is honestly stumbling through. He's not used to discussing sex, nor talking about boundaries, or... even emotions, really. Peter makes him feel safe to try. It feels like their bond is deepening even just as they lie here talking, under the pretense of just figuring out how to have better sex. It's not really about the sex, of course. It's about getting to know each other, fully and deeply.

As scared as Fiyero was of that a mere week ago, now he just wants to dig deeper. He wants to know all of Peter's deepest thoughts, the embarrassing secrets, the buried shame, the silly delights, the weird interests, and yes, the filthy fantasies. But he doesn't really know how to have those conversations. Yet he will stumble through it anyway, trying to figure out how to open up about the same things in return.

It does reassure him a lot, he finds, knowing what's off-limits. There's more extreme ones they haven't really mentioned, things Fiyero saw hints at in the store or glancing through the book. But anything extreme, he also doesn't think Peter will introduce impulsively. If Peter doesn't like hitting, there's no chance he's going to start really hurting Fiyero, for example. Or.. Fiyero doesn't even know. Bathroom stuff? Or things he can't even imagine.

And if something strange or uncomfortable comes up, well, then they talk or safeword if need be.

Peter really does seem open to a lot though, and knowing what to avoid, Fiyero feels a bit more confident experimenting, if he has an idea. Maybe it'll fall flat, or maybe it will be a surprise success. As long as he doesn't hurt Peter, then they can play around and explore together.

It's comforting and reassuring, having Peter just idly touch him while they talk. Fiyero's affection is less restless, just holding Peter with their legs tangled together, comfortable with their almost excessive closeness. Like they're trying to figure out how much skin they can press against each other, fitting limbs together like puzzle pieces.

Fiyero smiles with amusement as Peter gets embarrassed talking about what he said. Fiyero's not much better - it's a lot easier doing things than talking about them. "Fun to pretend though," Fiyero comments softly, smile in his voice. Just in case Peter wants to make him his toy again. It was very hot, and Fiyero would enjoy more of that sometime.

He hums thoughtfully at the talk of the more mean stuff, insults and the like. Fiyero doesn't find it hot, necessarily. Not exactly. But just like being a toy, some part of him is a little curious of what it would be like, being degraded like that - and yet still being wanted, being valued in some way, despite whatever shortcomings he might have. (He's always seemed to be valued for things other than himself. His looks, his abilities, his status, his obedience - and thereby losing that value if he didn't perform to whatever standards people expected of him.) Peter always makes him feel valued, but there are some things that run deep. But beyond a moment of idle curiosity, Fiyero brushes the thought aside.

Those are definitely things they should never do impulsively though. Fiyero only needs to imagine Peter's vulnerable look to know he could never say anything to really hurt him. If he ever did by accident - and he has, sometimes, if not as severely - he would spend much longer reassuring and trying to repair the damage.

Even teasing about Peter's sexual sensitivity, he knows to be careful of. He knows Peter has real shame and embarrassment about it. And Fiyero could definitely point it out, or even cause it to happen - but he wants to remain steadfast in his belief that it's something positive, or at the very least neutral. Gently punishing him for not being able to stop masturbating is one thing, trying to challenge him to hold back an orgasm, sure... But if Fiyero's the one in control, Fiyero never wants to act disappointed or disapproving at how Peter's body reacts to him. If anything, Fiyero has trouble pretending not to be absolutely delighted every time Peter comes.

Peter pulls him out of his ruminating by mentioning they could have normal sex sometimes, and Fiyero laughs, giving Peter a fond squeeze. It is sweet, that Peter makes sure to say. And it's not wasted - Fiyero probably could get wrapped up in trying to make it interesting, the same way he was very intent on being confident and adventurous in the beginning. Making up for any lack of experience by being a quick learner, to almost prove himself - including to himself. But thankfully, even if Peter hadn't said it outright, Fiyero thinks he still would have known. Peter really seems content with whatever Fiyero wants to give, as long as Fiyero still wants him.

"I know," Fiyero answers, pressing a kiss on the middle of the mess of hair on the top of Peter's head. "Me too. Or the same exact kind of weird sex, over and over," he adds with another soft laugh, though he too absolutely means it. "But I can't help it, there's just so much I want to try with you. We can save the normal sex for when we're too exhausted to think but I still can't keep my greedy hands off you," Fiyero continues, suddenly turning playful as he nuzzles almost aggressively against Peter's ear, grabbing handfuls of his side and his butt. There should be zero doubt that Fiyero wants him - enthusiastically, wholeheartedly, and with great joy.

Peter doesn't mind the stumbling; he's more than guilty of it himself, as evidenced by his perpetual word vomit. In those first days, Fiyero was far more guarded than he is now - they both were, but Fiyero had it bound tight, tight enough to send him spiraling into a panic attack on May's bathroom floor. The casual nickname, slipping out of Peter's mouth on instinct, on feeling, was like a knife to Fiyero's soft underbelly. Peter's glad they've been able to walk that down, to resolve even the tiniest bit of turmoil Fiyero finds himself in. He can't do much for Fiyero's situation, but he can do this. He can offer this, for whatever it's worth.

It might seem crazy - hell, it probably is, most things in Peter's life are - but this is the one thing that feels like it makes sense. Peter's only fallen in love once, but it was hard, fast, a bolt of lightning striking him dead center and lighting a torch he still carries, even now. With Fiyero, it wasn't quite the same, but similar enough that Peter can admit to himself that his feelings were burgeoning, from the moment they met. Maybe in some ways, it was inevitable; after Fiyero displayed his bravery, his kindness, his fun-loving personality - the real one, not just the public mask - how could Peter not hold a candle for him? His type has always been intelligent sweethearts.

But this will take time, getting to know each other. For two people who aren't used to letting someone into their inner world - much less someone who genuinely cares to be there, who treats that soft underbelly with respect and compassion - it will take time. They might not have as much as they think... but Peter's not thinking about that right now. That's a 'burn-that-bridge-when-we-get-to-it' situation.

More pressingly, this is Fiyero's first time with a relationship of this nature, a fact Peter has to keep reminding himself of, because it feels so natural and easy. Fiyero handily made his way to third base - but fourth is uncharted territory for him (and the scary things in Fiyero's book? Next level ballgame.)

"Oh, I had fun. I didn't mind that..." Peter chuckles, pressing another kiss to Fiyero's throat. He doesn't seem to mind Peter's boundless energy, the way he's always moving, the desire to be close. Maybe that will ease up, in time; but it's hard to want to stop. Setting aside the sword hanging over Fiyero's head that admittedly intensifies everything - on a physical level, it's hard to want to. Peter's senses are dialed to 11, so skin on skin contact? The cuddling, the brush of Fiyero's warm hands, reeling him in and keeping him there? It feels good. For someone who routinely gets his ass kicked and only ever gets hugs from his Aunt, he'll take as much of the casual intimate touch as Fiyero is willing to give him, and maybe not even fully realize that's why he's doing it.

"I like the weird sex. Weird sex is good," Peter teases with a smile, laughing again when Fiyero gropes at him shamelessly. He squirms half-heartedly, not even bothering to try and get away. They both know he could, but he definitely does not want to. "I want you to be able to try anything you want. Even these - you know, things I don't necessarily like - if there's something you want to try, let's talk about it. I'd tell you if there was a problem. That's what the safeword is for, and this. Pillow talk."

Peter's thumb strokes lightly against Fiyero's hip, face tilted up to look at him. Normal sex, as it were, has its place. Peter probably should have put his foot down the first time, for Fiyero's first orgasm at his hands (or mouth, as it were), but Peter's weak spot is most certainly giving Fiyero the things he wants. It's okay, they're both learning, and it all turned out fine in the end. Privately, though, Peter vows to himself that he won't let that happen for Fiyero's first time having penetrative sex. No, if ever there were a time for missionary... whether Fiyero wants to top or bottom, whenever that happens, Peter will make sure he's okay.

Shaking himself out of his reverie with a new, faint dusting of pink on his cheeks, Peter lets his gaze wander, trailing down Fiyero's chest. "You seemed to enjoy the gag we bought, which is good because we definitely haven't seen the last of that one."

Fiyero wants his filthy fantasies? Peter's got a few, and he's sure the opportunity will present itself. Ropes are another interesting tool, but now that Fiyero has given him the idea to utilize webbing... there may be more that's possible, without needing to do any other construction projects in the apartment...

Fiyero was guarded and he was experiencing some of the most stressful and upsetting things in his life. Honestly, it's no wonder he had a breakdown, and that he didn't let Peter in. But it was one of the first times Peter truly proved that he could be trusted to be let in, that it made things better to do so. It's been difficult not to let Peter in after that. Being wrapped up in blankets and platonically cuddled with an easy movie, snacks and drinks and no demands. This may not be a safe world, but Peter, and May, they were safe places within it.

It took him longer to deal with his feelings, and the - not entirely unfounded - assumption they were unrequited. In a way, he feels like he's almost overdue for another breakdown, what with how intense everything has been. But at least a lot of it has been good intense. Hopefully he won't break down in May's bathroom again. Though at least this time, if he does, he won't need to hide it...

He's trying to hide less and less, fighting the instinct to keep things inside. Some things, he doesn't care to even think about, much less discuss it. Things from his past, his family - he doesn't see the point of bringing these things up. (Well, the point would be knowing each other better - he knows this, really, he just doesn't want to admit it.) But about his feelings, his wants and needs right now, with them? It's getting easier.

Especially when they can laugh about it, playing and joking and keeping things light enough. Balancing out the sincerity with silliness. Fiyero's groping ends up with him curled up even closer, if that's even possible, now with his face nuzzled into Peter's neck half the time, except for when he emerges to look at Peter. "Pillow talk. I like that," Fiyero observes, having never heard the term before. Fiyero takes Peter's openness at his word, even if he won't really miss most of those things.

The fact that Fiyero's first blowjob - received, not given - had those kinds of power plays as part of it probably wasn't the best idea. Getting Peter to pin him down, bringing him to the edge before pulling back, it might have set a strange sort of standard? At least it wasn't like when Peter told him not to touch his hair - that had been more difficult, including emotionally. But then, they've had more a bit more uncomplicated orgasms too since then, so it's not like Fiyero feels like he needs to be pinned down, or doing something similar to Peter. The first blowjob he gave felt very safe, Fiyero allowed to explore and practice at his own enthusiastic pace. And even with the intense first blowjob, Peter did still make sure he was okay. It certainly wasn't disappointing.

"I did enjoy it, yes," Fiyero agrees, still cuddled up, one hand having just settled on Peter's butt now. "In moderation - but definitely using it again." He's not sure he would like to be silenced like that for the entire duration of a longer encounter, but used for a purpose like that, yeah, it was great. Perhaps it would be easier to keep the ball gag in longer, rather than the open one. They should try that sometime too. Being prohibited from talking was a different sensation than being kept open like that - he thinks he could endure the former longer, probably? He's not sure until he tries, and he wants to try.

"Mmm... Do you think I should shave before I go down on you again though?" Fiyero asks, softly playful. He follows it up by nuzzling into Peter's neck again, but this time he very intentionally rubs his stubbly scratchy cheek against the soft skin of Peter's neck.

So much of Peter's life - and now their life, because this has all become Fiyero's normal, now, at least until they figure out something to assuage the situation - is spent surviving. The monotony of daily life - making rent, turning in assignments, catching his train on time - but also surviving the threats, too. Peter doesn't dare to look ahead, because the endless what ifs might send him spiraling, but - if they had the time? In a world where neither of them were worried about shadowy figures hunting them, maybe things could be different.

Peter's much the same, honestly. He had a stress dream involving Gwen, but the dream was about Fiyero. About failing him, too, and the fear that came along with that. But he hasn't had his usual rotation of survivor's guilt nightmares, and whether it's because Fiyero makes him happy or because he's consumed with the current problem - Peter knows they'll come back eventually. Maybe for Fiyero, those deeper issues will resurface... only when it's safe enough to dedicate the energy to dealing with them.

If they're together long enough, it's bound to come up. Peter wants to know these things - wants to know everything. Researching Oz and listening to Fiyero talk about Winkie Country at length was awesome (and no, not just because Peter is a nerd) - and it almost occurs to Peter just then to ask. That's what pillow talk is for, isn't it, those deeper questions? Fiyero's hand is on his ass, smile warm against his neck, and Peter lets his hand rise to curl in Fiyero's hair, hugging him close.

He almost asks, but the stubble surprises him, and Peter lets out a squeak. The sensation raises gooseflesh on his neck (the good kind), and the involuntary whine that tries to fight its way out of his throat gets choked off into a cute squeak, but Fiyero's far too close not to have noticed.

Yeah, even Peter has to admit he liked that.

"Probably," Peter finally manages, fingers stroking lightly through Fiyero's hair. "Even though I'd heal it might be - um, distracting."

In a way, they've both been too distracted to really dwell on their deeper, older issues and scars. They've gotten glimpses of them in each other. Fiyero saw Peter's nightmare, and he's seen how much it affects him when Peter talks about the people he's lost. But being in each other's arms seems to have held a lot of that stuff at bay. Fiyero doesn't need to drink or dance to shut off his brain enough to sleep, and Peter doesn’t wake from nightmares - so far.

And if they do, well, they know better how to help each other now. Maybe Fiyero might want to drink, if his brain gets annoying enough that even Peter's attention can't shut it out - but he doesn’t have to drink alone. And if Peter gets hurt or he has to stay up working, Fiyero can look after him and keep him company. If nothing else, Fiyero can sleep cuddled up against Peter while he works.

Fiyero wants to protect Peter and take care of him in so many ways, the ways he can't protect himself, or that he simply doesn't bother to. Even now, Fiyero's thinking about what they need before the start another bit of exciting sexual experimentation. A bathroom break, and a shave for Fiyero at least, and some more water. Maybe some more food for Peter, getting him to finish off what's left.

That said, he's almost tempted not to shave now, when Peter makes that sound. It's adorable. Fiyero's grinning happily against Peter's neck.

"Good distracting or bad distracting?" Fiyero laughs, nuzzling into Peter's neck some more, intentionally rubbing his cheeks all over Peter, pulling him close to press his nose against Peter's ear, even the hair at the back of his neck. He's not doing it firmly, not wanting to scratch Peter up, but definitely bascially tickling him with it.

Having someone else to bear the tough times with, as well as the good - it does more than Peter can say. Gwen was the only other person who ever knew about Spiderman, about everything, the only person he never needed to hide from. And the idea that Fiyero has never had that? That he's always had to hide, secreting the parts of himself that are real, packaging them up in bits of his mask so they go down easier for public consumption - it makes Peter's heart ache for him, arms getting just a little bit tighter around him. He'll be there, for whatever Fiyero needs, for as long as Fiyero will let him.

Caring for another person - it has the added side effect of getting you to take care of yourself. Admittedly, Fiyero does a better job of this than Peter, but it just makes him all the more fond, submitting to Fiyero's well-meaning attentions. But it's also inadvertently gotten Fiyero to be more careful too - he's not going out anywhere, taking pills off strangers - because he'd rather be with Peter.

Peter makes another soft keening noise, gooseflesh erupting over the back of his neck, his spine, down his arms as Fiyero pulls him closer and rubs his face all along the side of Peter's throat. His hand tightens in Fiyero's hair, the other solid around his waist - like he's not sure whether he should pull Fiyero away or push him closer. It's almost overwhelming - or maybe it would be combined with other stimuli, but for now it just makes him shiver, squirming slightly; the longer Fiyero goes, the more it edges towards ticklish. "Both?"

Peter couldn't imagine getting a blowjob like this, but the idea of beard burn between his thighs makes them squeeze a little tighter, still tangled with Fiyero's legs. It wouldn't last - he'd definitely heal even while Fiyero was putting it there, especially with all the food Fiyero has been generously pushing on him - but the idea is definitely hot.

"I like your facial hair," Peter tips his head, hand sliding down Fiyero's exposed cheek, trying to coax him back up for a kiss. His face is pleasantly red, eyes bright - but if he's thinking that Fiyero is sexy, hm, maybe Peter should tell him. He bites his lip, gaze drifting down to Fiyero's lips, the roughness springing from his cheeks. Sometimes Peter wonders about his sexuality, his methods of attraction, and then he has moments like this and it's all clear. It very much helps that the stubble is attached to someone he really, really likes. "It's hot, I'm totally jealous."

Even before Peter had Gwen, he also has a loving family - no matter how small it might have been. He may not have been able to share the Spiderman parts of him, but as far as Fiyero understood, that came later anyway. Having met May, Fiyero would be surprised to learn that Peter had to hide a lot of who he even was as a person.

It's not that Fiyero never had anyone he felt like he could relax with, people who treated him well, without necessarily forcing him into a box. They were just all... sort of temporary, or they didn't fully understand him even if he didn't have to hide. The occasional tutor he got along with. A childhood friend for a couple years. A steed with a sense of humour.

He's never felt fully seen, the way he does with Peter. Understood and accepted. The only problem is, there's a certain chance Peter's part in his life might be temporary too. So Fiyero's just trying to enjoy it while he can...

And he is taking better care of himself, even if it's mostly because he doesn't want to seek out his unhealthy coping mechanism - and because of the actual real danger of trying to do so. Not just emotionally unhealthy and physically bad for him, but genuinely putting himself in danger. He is a little restless, and being cooped up probably is taking its toll. It's just a lot more difficult to notice when he's got such a lovely distraction right here.

It goes both ways, obviously. Fiyero's been working very hard at being a lovely distraction, and he's discovering new tools all the time. Clearly his stubble is a powerful tool, making Peter shiver and squirm, but not in a way that he seems to want Fiyero to stop. Fiyero can feel the way even Peter's legs press closer together.

Maybe later. While trying to overwhelm Peter is part of his plan, he's sure just tying him up will already do a lot when he combines it will all the pleasure. Adding beard burn might be a step too far with everything else. Anything that might be painful or unpleasant, he does want to limit.

Fiyero is easily coaxed into a kiss, and gets the added bonus of seeing Peter's pleasant flush. He gives Peter a quick peck before grinning happily at him. "I'll make sure to let it grow out sometimes, then," Fiyero answers. "Just for you." He likes hearing exactly what Peter finds attractive about him, so he can emphasize those things. (Fiyero doesn't know about electric razors that let you keep a constant stubble, it would probably be risky to introduce him to it.)

"Mmm, I should probably go do something about that then... Well, that, and I have to blow the bellows," he says with a soft laugh, giving Peter a soft kiss before he starts gently trying to extricate himself. He wants to actually have some (more) of that great sex they've been talking about. That does require getting up first, lest they want to be interrupted midway by bathroom breaks.

Before the spider bite, there had been no secrets. What would Peter have to hide, anyhow? But then there was Dr. Connors, and his parents' research, Spiderman. He's different now, after all that, but he still had to keep being the same old Peter Parker, with everyone - and that included May. It's why he still wears his glasses around her, even now. It had turned out that May was keeping a few secrets of her own, and Peter's heart aches thinking about the lie he's had to let her live with, about what Richard and Mary were doing when they left their son on her doorstep - but it's a matter of safety, and Peter would much rather her be sad than in danger.

This whole situation, ideally, ends one of two ways, each with their own challenges. If they find a way to send Fiyero home, it ends in heartbreak - and if they discover Fiyero is stuck with no way back, it's heartbreak of a different kind. In either case, Peter just wants him to be safe. Freed. Not constantly looking over his shoulder for the next man with a roofie, lying in wait. Tonight, when they see Daredevil and Kate, it will be a step towards... something. Peter's still nervous about the idea of exposing Fiyero to anyone, but what choice do they have? If Peter's going to trust anyone, his fellow backyard vigilantes aren't half bad, at least.

"Aw, for me? You shouldn't have." Peter laughs, curling his fingers to let his nails drag lightly against Fiyero's stubble, feeling the texture against his fingertips. His hand comes to rest against Fiyero's chin, tilting it up to demand another kiss, just because he can.

Of course, Fiyero's new turn of phrase induces a funny look passing over Peter's face, puzzlement dragging his brow down, while the corners of his mouth turn up, like he's not sure if he's supposed to laugh. Fiyero's getting up, so Peter assumes it's something to do with... something? Potentially in the bathroom, maybe the kitchen? "You're blowing... what?"

He shifts, helping Fiyero untangle their legs so he can slip out of the bed. Peter tucks an arm behind his head, watching him go, and it's not meant to be a pose, precisely, but the sheets pooling low at his waist and the long line of bare torso above it do paint a certain picture.

Fiyero is vaguely aware they have plans for late in the night, but he's not thinking that far ahead. (Nor does he remember Peter's suggestion for setting an alarm to help them keep track of time if they fall asleep afterwards.) Fiyero, as usual, is not really a long term planner. He's far too easily distracted for that.

He's already heading to the bathroom, but comes to a halt when Peter questions him, looking back - at a very lovely view, by the by. "..Blow the bellows?" Fiyero repeats, looking for a sign of recognition on Peter’s face and finding none. "I have to pee," he explains - before he gets a comedically offended expression. "Sorry, am I being confusifying again?" he asks loudly, putting his hands on his hips in a demanding way. Possibly it would be more effective if he wasn't stark naked, but given he's just trying to make Peter laugh, it probably works well enough.

Peter's confusion doesn't abate, but the way Fiyero hams it up and props his hands on his very naked hips eventually looses the smile from his lips, like the sun peeking out from behind a passing cloud. Peter's trying not to laugh - at first, to be polite, but now as a matter of principle, and it's a losing battle.

"That's one word for it," He lets his hand scrub through his hair, sending it up every which way against the pillow he leans back on, dragging it over his face. "Dare I ask what a bellows is? How is that supposed to mean pee?"

What, Fiyero's talking to a modern idiot who's never had a fireplace. Peter laughs and twists to stretch out his back before he melts into the bed, face half-buried in the pillow. "Hurry back so you can - cuddlify? - me some more."

Fiyero's not even trying to fight his smile. Although it does fade for a moment as he hesitates, not having expected having to explain what a bellows is. It's one thing when it's magical or something he can understand is very Oz-specific, but it does surprise him when it's something they surely must have in this world too, right?

"It's like.. It's a hand pump you use to blow air into a fire to make it burn brighter?" Fiyero explains, the comedic exaggeration fading again. "So, you know, a bag you squeeze to make stuff come out.." he elaborates, gesturing vaguely as the smile comes back, Fiyero realising that it is in fact a somewhat silly expression. It does make sense though, in his opinion.

“Ohhh…” Peter’s understanding hits like a brick, eye peeking out from the pillow to watch Fiyero. He flushes slightly, feeling s bit like a dumb city slicker - which is not the first or last time that will ever happen to him. God forbid they go camping. He’s pretty sure he’s seen what Fiyero’s talking about in old movies before…

In this instance, of course, Fiyero’s bladder is the bag, and Peter grins again in response, rolling onto his side to look at Fiyero properly again, playful mirth dancing in his eyes. “I hope it’s not the same pumping to pee but… to each their own.”

"Oh hush," Fiyero shoots back, the grin returning just in time for Fiyero to continue his path to the bathroom. He does give Peter a little wink before he disappears through the door, for no reason except being flirty. He's always enjoying flirting, but it's infinitely better doing it with Peter, someone he actually has feelings for.

Fiyero hums to himself as goes about various bathroom activities, toilet, shaving, washing up a little. He is fully aware he will get sweaty and covered in other fluids soon enough, but at least he can be clean of residue from their last time having sex. Given they like putting their mouths all over, it just seems like the considerate thing to do.

"Alright, your turn," he says cheerfully as he exits the bathroom, his face smooth and clean now. "Wanna get nice and clean before I mess you up again?" He grins brightly - it's clearly a promise.

Peter laughs softly and collapses back into the pillows as Fiyero disappears into the bathroom. Ugh, he's so happy it feels like it should be illegal, Fiyero's wink giving his stomach a little swooping feeling. Smiling, Peter rolls over when he hears the water rushing through the pipes, reaching for his phone. May is, predictably, very happy indeed. Of course dear, he's always welcome. See you at 6 <3

Peter likes the message and clumsily plugs the phone in, before getting up to set the room back to rights. By the time Fiyero comes back out, Peter's cleared the dishes back to the kitchen and picked up their toys - the gag is by the sink, the rope coiled neatly and hanging off the back of the chair, tools back in their case. It's a small enough place that it looks like a hurricane most of the time anyway, so Peter does try to keep things in some kind of order. He's perched on the chair, one hand buried in his hair, the other fussing with the computer to pick suitable music.

He picks a chill mix and leaves it open - Fiyero can change it if he wants - and rises to cross the room, smile softening at the edges when he sees Fiyero's fresh shave. "Well, you make it look so good..."

Fiyero does look good - naked, grinning sunnily, promising to be an absolute menace. Peter lets his hand brush Fiyero's shoulder as he disappears into the bathroom himself, ducking his head coyly. "Be right there."

Fiyero's not surprised in the slightest to see that Peter has tidied by the time Fiyero emerges. The man can't relax to save his life, probably literally. Then again, given how much Fiyero forced him to relax, it might be for the best that Peter grabs the moments of productivity while he still can, or this place would be even more of a chaos zone than it already is. Granted, a lot is Fiyero's shopping and such, them trying to fit two people into this place, but even so.

As Peter lets his hand brush against Fiyero, Fiyero gently grabs it to hold him back - just long enough to quickly steal a kiss. And alright, so maybe it comes with a cheeky quick butt grab as well. Not much coyness from Fiyero's side at the moment, just a bright smile as he sends Peter on his way.

Fiyero looks around, trying to figure out if there's more to do, anything to prepare. He refills both of their waters, and he also prepares some fruit and snack bars so he can keep Peter fuelled up if need be. He has no idea how long they'll keep going, but goodness knows he gets hungry quick, so it's better to keep him well fed and have something on hand if he's exhausted.

He also grabs the dissolver and puts it on the nightstand, for easy reach in emergencies. Then he puts big towel down on the bed, because there is a pretty decent chance they'll need it.

When Peter comes back, Fiyero's sitting in the chair playing with the rope. He has no plans on using them on Peter obviously, he's just passing the time. The rope marks on his legs are almost gone by now, just the faintest evidence they were there. At least he's still covered in hickeys in various stages of fading. He should probably make sure Peter doesn't give him any more in areas that would be visible outside his clothes before they visit May tomorrow.

Peter is really not used to inaction; idle minds are the devil's playground, after all. Hey, he never claimed it was healthy, but it is true, for better or for worse. Fiyero has been inarguably effective at distracting him, and vice versa, but it doesn't mean the restless drive to do something has gone anywhere. There's a reason it's such an achievement, and maybe that's part of the fun.

He splashes some water on his face, and spends a few minutes preening - brushing his teeth vigorously, wetting a hand towel for a quick wipedown, and messing with his hair (a lost cause, but even so). Peter huffs and stares at his own reflection for a moment, trying not to succumb to any bouts of self-consciousness. It's easier, he thinks, to fake confidence when you're supposed to be in charge. This is something he already knew - Spiderman was definitely a fake-it-till-you-make-it gig at times - but when Peter's mind strays to the preparations they've made to actually leave him vulnerable, potentially unable to move... it's a little more difficult to bluster, and far too easy to blush.

He scrubs at his cheeks to try and get rid of the pink (he's sure he was an easy blusher before the spider bite, but afterwards it's impossible to avoid - he has theories, circling adrenaline activation and his supercharged nervous system) and takes a deep breath, squaring his shoulders, before he cracks the door open and returns to Fiyero. Fiyero's the easiest part of all of it - whatever confidence Peter does or doesn't have, his trust in Fiyero fills in the gaps.

Peter slides up behind Fiyero, draping his arms over his boyfriend's marked up chest. He nuzzles into Fiyero's neck, pressing a light kiss to his throat. Yes, he should be good and stop giving Fiyero marks - he already looks thoroughly claimed, evidence of their enthusiasm littering his body. "Reminiscing already?"

Fiyero is more an either/or kind of person. Either he's fully devoted to inaction, or he cannot sit still. Easily bored, yet skilled at being lazy. Either way, productivity has rarely been on the list of options. Yet he's finding it simple enough to rise to the occasion here, when it's something manageable like tidying, and also something that makes a difference. When you have people cleaning up for you, it's difficult to see the point in doing it yourself. But here the person cleaning up is Peter, and if he's doing that, it means he has even less time for cozying up with Fiyero. It's sort of selfish in the end, but at least the end result is still helpful.

Fiyero smiles as Peter slinks up behind him, leaning his head sideways to give Peter room. "Mmm, good memories," he answers lightly, though he loops up the rope again, dropping it on the table as he turns in his seat to face Peter, gently tugging him in front of him. He reaches up for Peter's face, coaxing him down for a sweet kiss.

He's still smiling as the kiss breaks, looking up at Peter fondly. He reaches up to run his fingers through Peter's hair, combing it rather than messing it up further, the way Peter usually does when he touches his hair. "You're so handsome..." he says appreciatively, full of sincerity and affection. Yes, his compliments are intentional to try to build Peter's self-confidence, but that doesn't mean they're not completely and utterly heartfelt.

Edited 2025-12-11 12:07 (UTC)

Peter shifts easily, following Fiyero's nonverbal request to stand in front of him; he bends when beckoned, fond smile unable to be banished. In the middle of it all, Fiyero manages to look radiant with happiness, and Peter doesn't even put up token resistance. Not now, when Peter can bend forward to kiss him back, coiling his arms around Fiyero's neck, eyes bright when they part. Peter leans into Fiyero's touch, though he has to avert his eyes at such a direct compliment, even as his smile grows, untamed. He knows Fiyero means it - the tone of his voice isn't that of a false or forced compliment, but Peter's also not used to such a thing. He's not sure what to say, so he settles on a muttered, "...Look who's talking."

"All clean-shaven," Peter tilts his head to press a chaste kiss against Fiyero's cheek, long fingers casually dragging through the hair at the back of his neck. "Mm, I miss the scruff, but you look so good like this, too, favoritism is impossible."

Fiyero tries to tame his hair, and while Peter's not convinced Fiyero is making any actual progress, it certainly feels nice. He dips forward for another light peck, pleasantly rosy.

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